Idris Elba has been cast as Mary Poppins in the long awaited Disney remake of Mary Poppins.
Competition was fierce for the role with Jodie Foster rumoured as the early favourite tipped for the coveted role.
Idris sealed the deal after a screen test as a spinster overly committed to domestic servitude, who avoids the congested London Underground network with a magic umbrella.
Ms Foster was said to be considering suing Disney.
Social media has erupted in fury to the announcement with unreconstructed women baffled by the casting of a man in what has only ever been a woman’s role previously.
A spokesmen for Disney did her best to put out the fire.
“Idris Elba is a top drawer star and for the role of Mary Poppins only a top drawer star will do. Who would you have us pick for it? Tom Hardy? Tom Cruise? Tom Selleck?”
Mary Poppins will be redrawn as a manny for the remake and is expected to bring a unique masculine touch to childcare.
“Idris won’t take any nonsense from the overly validated modern children he’ll be given the job of bringing into line, while also including love where deserved, but if they think they’re going to get a star just for turning up they’ve got another thing coming.”
Other changes expected in the remark are a change to the famous ‘spoonful of sugar’ scene out of concern it encourages underage children to go and buy smack and cook up.
Also, the flying umbrella will be replaced with a levitating Prius in a commercial tie in that is rumoured to have secured Disney a net profit even before filming starts.
We asked Idris for comment but he was not available. As far as we understand he is already in preparation for the role by working as the manny for Beyonce’s children.
