Growing support for alt-height movement Height Supremacists have a new doyen in the shape of Sixtus Rees-Mogg. Rees-Mogg initially attracted support with a very modern debut on Instagram.
The prodigy gained further renown at the AGM for Lonrho last week. At this annual meeting for shareholders in the conglomerate, Christopher M. Chambers, the Executive Chairman’s announcement that the dividend would be cut was cut short by Rees-Mogg’s angry bawling from his pram.
Now, despite not yet forming words, he is seen as the defacto leader of the alt-height movement. These height supremacists reject progressivism in all its forms, seeing size as a sign of subjugation to society.
Sixtus’ father, Jacob, explained on his behalf:
“Sixtus believes very strongly that the older you get, the less individualistic you are. I found this just last night, when my attempts to explain how a society could run with a smaller state apparatus were interrupted by first screams, and then milky vomit.”
“Sixtus simply does not care for theories about who owns the means of production, he wants the milk to be there as and when he calls for it.”
After Rees-Mogg pater described this on Instagram, Sixtus was very rapidly promoted by 4Chan users to be the de facto leader of Kekistan. A combination of sheer individualism, together with a lack of interest in giving orders to others unless they are for his own direct benefit, are seen as the logical culmination of years of anarcho-capitalist thought.
“So called “grown ups” aka “socialists” are just wrong, and now we have Sixtus leading us, the New World order will be, SHUT UP MUM, I WILL BE UP FOR DINNER IN A MINUTE,” said an alt-height supporter whilst sitting in his Keks.
This article first appeared on page 3 of the Herald print edition as an excuse for images which are not suitable for a family internet provider. We reiterate that the Herald online is a separate institution from the Herald print edition.
