Donald Trump left an eager crowd shocked in Poland today when he failed to mention the length of his schlong once during a rousing speech.
The crowd, some bussed in by the ruling party from distant areas to adore Trump, waited eagerly to hear POTUS crank out all the hits.
There were many classics, but they waited in vain for the Donald to refer to the only thing a President really needs to run the free world. Apart from a gold lift and an interesting attitude to taxation.
Instead they got a collection of emotive phrases that most had heard so many times before it was like the TV channel Dave had suddenly invaded Poland and decided to play a never ending repeat of easy to digest comfort songs.
The Rochdale Herald’s White House correspondent was almost there, this is what they were texted by someone who actually was.
Although the source is a known critic of Trump and the report maybe fake news.
“They were all really disappointed. Comparing the length President Trump boasts his johnson is with his tiny hands is supposed to be the highlight of his stand up act.
Did you know he claims he even writes some of his material himself? Although I doubt it.”
Why Trump let the crowd down is not yet known.
Rumours suggest it may have something to do with him perceiving an insult in the style of Polish handshakes?
“Hopefully he will tweet about how large his richard is before he leaves the country.
We should cut him slack.
He has a face to face a one to one employment appraisal with that scary, bare chested Russian tomorrow. He’s probably really nervous about that.”
But at least Trump did remember many phrases that suggest while visiting WW2 battlefields he is at least psychologically prepared should a time warp drag him back to where his worldview really belongs.
