In a bid to appear more accessible to young people the Conservative party have updated the image of some of their more prominent MPs.
The aim is to change public opinion; to be seen as less of a political party and more of a “rap collective.” Hoping to follow in the successful footsteps of groups such as “So Solid Crew” and “Blazin’ Squad,” the new team will be led by poster boy for social divide, Jacob Rees-Mogg.
However this is set to be Jacob as you haven’t seen him before. Having spent a weekend with some of the UK’s top stylists and performance coaches, the once stuffy MP has hit the streets with a new persona: freestyle rapper, Rees-Moggy Mogg.
When approached by the Rochdale Herald for a statement Mr Rees-Mogg branded our reporter as a “pussyole,” adding “dis is what I do now, you get me? Takes a real G to vote Tory, some real blue blood shit, fam. Corbyns a bludclart! The yoot gotta wake up!”
While the full lineup is yet to be revealed, what is being branded as “The Blu Tang Clan” will potentially include party members Dubba-D, T-May, Bojo, J-Hunt MC and The Notorious Rudd.
Michael Gove has publicly distanced himself from the project due to conflicting commitments to death metal band Prawn Faced Bastard.
