BBC smash hit soap ‘Eastenders’ has been ordered by the Culture Secretary to throw its weight behind Brexit and help make a success of it.
The initiative will see dead characters resurrected and retired cast members revived in a story that celebrates how much better life is when you’re alone.
Non-white characters will be absent from the show for a while.
‘Eastenders Let’s make a success of Brexit!’ special will air each night in the normal time slot until the successful conclusion of negotiations with the unelected bureaucrats in Brussels.
It’s uncertain how many, if any, non-British characters will return to the show once victory is achieved.
Ross Kemp is reported to be beside him at the prospect. He is to wrap up filming a special feature called ‘Running away from danger – The Amazon’ early to do his patriotic duty and appear in the show.
It’s rumoured too that Nigel Farage will man the pumps behind the bar of the Queen Vic.
He will only be serving half pints in pint glasses though, declaring it job done and serving the warm ale in half empty pint glasses before buggering off out back for a smoke and leering at girls passing by.
