Recruitment agencies report an influx of fresh CV’s today all listing activity from late summer last year until today as “Trekking in Nepal”.
All the CV’s are from career civil servants, professional trade lobbyists and lawyers who specialise in diplomacy and trade.
Sandy Shores, a specialist in civil service recruitment spoke to the Herald about the sudden increase in job seekers,
“They all worked, or still work, for the Department for Exiting the European Union. I’m sure of it.” Sandy stated.
“You can smell the fear in the emails. I’ve been doing this work for many years. It’s always like this when the government is attempting something they have no idea how to achieve.”
As she was talking her computer chimed with new emails.
“Look at this one.” Sandy continued. “The photo has been altered in photoshop. I’m sure if we strip back the changes we won’t see this young and beautiful brunette lady. We’ll find a red faced white man in his sixties who believes in only himself.”
Sandy is certain the latest CV belongs to David Davis, Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union.
“Trekking in Nepal is a fantastic way to spend time during a career break.” Sandy confirms.
“But the coincidence of so many doing that raises suspicion. Staff hired to deal with Brexit should be more imaginative. Mix it up.
Yellowstone National Park is supposed to be fantastic? Pretend to have taken time off to take an art course? Say you’ve been looking after an elderly relative? Just control your anxieties better before lying on your CV.”
She opens the email during our interview to confirm her suspicions.
“It’s definitely David Davis. He describes himself as being committed to public service, self aggrandisement, the agenda of NewsCorp and to getting the best deal for the United Kingdom.”
And what’s he been up to today?
“Apparently he’s sent this email from a cliff edge on Mount Everest and not while getting his ass handed to him in measured chunks by Barnier. You couldn’t make this up.”
