Leave voters voiced their anger today as the EU threatened to take away the Continental weather that sees England baking in sunshine and heat normally only felt on package holidays in Continental Europe.
Jean-Claude Junker became the target for their rising irritation when he warned if,
“Britain doesn’t play with the ball when Brexit negotiations begin on Monday I will order all the wind turbines of Europe to face the other way.”
This will see the prevailing winds blowing the sun across The ENGLISH Channel from France to switch direction and send the warm weather back into the middle of the continent, drawing colder air from the Atlantic across the home counties of England.
This would effectively end summer in the UK two months early.
Biff Bishop of Rochdale, who voted Leave with a crayon on the 23rd June last year, gave voice to the public mood,
“It shows how we’re better off out and out now.” Biff stated.
“Once we are a sovereign country again we can control our weather like we used to do before we joined the tyrannical superstate of the EU.”
Liam Fox is reported to have lined up several free summer deals with friendly countries among gulf states. These deals will see warm air and sunshine consistently drawn to the UK from Saudi Arabia and Kuwait.
In return we will be sending containers of Cornish pasties, English sparkling wine and other regional delicacies, such as high explosives, prized by citizens of the gulf states.
“Think of all the summer Commonwealth countries have too?” Mr Bishop added.
“We used to have that weather. That’s English summer that is. Once we’ve told Junker to shove it we can all get sunburnt again whenever we like.”
