Nigel Farage has unveiled his latest plans to broaden UKIP’s appeal amongst young voters. Phase one will see Farage travel round the country calling them wankers.
Any young people who aren’t in when he calls will be reached using Nigel’s radio show and articles written in The Daily Telegraph.
A spokesman for UKIP told the Herald,
“People under 40 had a huge effect on the election outcome. We need to broaden our appeal amongst them if we’re ever going to get the hard Brexit that will screw them right over.”
Additionally Mr Farage M.P. (only joking) has utilised the strategy of belittling younger voters by calling them naive. Mr Farage told his radio audience that young people didn’t have the political experience to know that Labour’s spending commitments in their manifesto were unachievable.
Instead, voters should believe what they see written on the sides of buses as good experienced UKIP voters do.
The third string to Mr Farage’s bow was to accuse British university students of voting twice.
Once in their hometown and once in the town their university is in. Despite there being no more evidence of this than there is of UKIP voters voting once using their own polling card and once using their dead husbands/wife’s polling card.
We live in an ‘alternative facts’ society many people who fail to grasp the concept of empirical evidence are calling for an inquiry into this.
Presumably if this was investigated and there found to be no evidence then Mr Farage M.P. (still joking) will say that the inquiry was made up of Liberal Metropolitan Elite patsies.
If however, it finds in favour of Mr Farage it will be lauded as a great victory.
