Nick Clegg has announced his intention of running for the leadership of the Liberal Democrats following the shock resignation of Tim Farron.
In a speech from the corner of Downing Street Mr Clegg spoke of his reasons,
“It’s always been my dream to be the leader of a major political party. That does not look possible. But with Tim resigning to pursue his dream of pastoral work I have the chance to lead the Liberal Democrats again, at least.”
Asked how he expected to lead the party with the loss of his parliamentary seat last Thursday, Mr Clegg just laughed and said “Nigel Farage” in between gasps, followed by a “Nuttall”.
“I have the experience. My past record of service to our country shows I know how to go back on cast iron promises.
I believe I am the best candidate with the ability to work with Ms May in bringing stability and certainty to our country in this uncertain time.”
Rumour has it that Ms May herself is so confident of Mr Clegg winning the leadership contest, she has already reached out to Nick to test the water of a coalition that saves her from listening to Arlene Foster endlessly ask her favourite question,
“What are we going to do about the gays?”
Asked for comment on Nick Clegg’s announcement Vince Cable fell to his knees and began punching the ground repeatedly with his fist.
He was eventually restrained with a picture of a falcon with a fish in its beak.
