Alarmed by Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn’s threat to cross the floor of the House of Commons to challenge for the Tory leadership, Prime Minister Theresa May tonight responded with unexpected vitriol.
“I know I said the worst thing I ever did was to run through a wheat field, but I also once had the iconic picture of Che Gueverra on my bedroom wall and I even wore a beret at times,” she said.
“Jeremy is not the only leadership contender who has at times lent his support to those whom some would call terrorists. Just remember, some peoples terrorists are other people’s freedom fighters,” said Mrs. May
“I thought it was just awful the way South Africa treated that nice Mr Mandela for so many years, locking him away in jail and such. He was pretty prolific in his day, Amnesty International wouldn’t take his case because they couldn’t be seen to condone violence. It says so on their website.”
“And we weren’t very nice to those Mau Mau chaps in Kenya once upon a time. And I don’t. Even want to go into Menachem Begin in Palestine all those years ago.”
“But to be fair, those boys from the IRA have turned over a new leaf and I don’t want them to think I don’t trust them or won’t treat them with equanimity just because I am doing a deal with the DUP to shore up my government,” the Prime Minister said.
“I can assure the doubters in Northern Ireland that I would get into bed – oh that would be naughty wouldn’t it– with Sinn Fein if they had the seats in parliament that we needed,” she said.
