Humbled by her failed election gambit Theresa May today announced a new policy to resolve the social care funding crisis which torpedoed her election campaign.
“From Monday,” Mrs. May said on the step at No. 10, “all dental clinics in the United Kingdom will be offering free tooth extraction. I urge each and every citizen, no matter your political persuasion, to take advantage of this exciting new opportunity to make Britain Great again.”
“If every citizen of this great country will put aside their differences to support this effort, we can, together, resolve the crisis in social care,” she said.
“I am sure that if each and everyone of you takes that tooth home and puts it under your pillow then the tooth fairy will respond with great generosity to your collective effort to make Britain strong and stable and Great again.”
“Thank you,” said the prime minister before going back into number 10 without taking questions from the press.
