Labour leader and beardy weirdy Jeremy Corbyn is facing a scandal this evening. It has been uncovered by the Herald that Corbyn has been receiving undeclared payments from a shell company that make the elbow-patches for tweed jackets; this is in direct violation of election funding rules.

The Labour leader who in 2015 was told to “put on a proper suit and do up his tie” by then Prime Minister David Cameron, is well known for dressing like a 1950’s geography teacher.

“If it’s not a jumper his mum has knit for him, it’s some rancid brown tweed jacket; one of those throwbacks with those leather patches on the elbows,” said Phillipe Welldress, the Herald’s fashion journalists “but the interesting thing is, I saw some early concept sketches for the Milan fashion week; Tweed may be making a comeback!”

The Rochdale Herald’s journalists have been following Mr Corbyn’s complete lack of style since he was launched into the spotlight in 2014 and have found a direct correlation with poll positions and Labour funding.

Shares have been bought in leather elbow patch manufacturing businesses by several prominent international fashion designers and in the event of a Labour win next week, hipster interest in replicating the stuffy professor look, made iconic by Corbyn, could be a multi-billion pound industry.

Could it be that Corbyn is a shill being bank rolled not by Tweedy Jacket Co. but by the likes of Giorgio Armani and Ralph Lauren?

19th century vegetable highwayman/ satirist. Likes: the sound of a solitary house fly loitering hectically around his ear and the feeling of a warm toilet seat. Favourite topic: writing about political intrigue involving biscuits.