David Davis is to take a back seat in the upcoming Brexit negotiations, having decided that a two year old called Davis Davis from Rochdale would do a better job of getting the best deal from the EU negotiating team.
“It’s a master stroke, even if I say so myself.” Davis told Preston on Sunday this morning.
“Clearly, any of us going up against seasoned negotiators at the EU, with a combined experience of centuries, are just going to get our ass handed to us with an invoice attached, but sending in a toddler, well, would you be expecting that?”
It’s believed Davis Davis was chosen after rigorous psychological profiling of his social media use, and that of his family.
“He voted Leave last year.” David Davis added,
“His father has a framed portrait of both Nigel Farage and Enoch Powell on his bed side table and the last time the family holidayed in the Costa Del Sol they said “Do you speak English?” a combined total of forty seven hundred times in one week. Not one instance of gracias, except once with an extreme Hapsburg lisp designed to insult the locals. It’s the perfect fit.”
Davis Davis is nearing three but is not yet toilet trained. In this respect he is similar to David Davis. He also recently negotiated the return of a favourite stuffed toy bear, called Yoo by screaming until someone more mature took notice and dealt with the situation.
Davis Davis is expected to have more than one surprise to claw out of his nappy and fling at Barnier and co should they get particular about the rights of EU nationals resident in the U.K. to have access to the NHS after April 1st 2019.
In this respect he mirrors David Davis too.
Get get them tiger! We’ve all united behind Yoo!
