The John Bull, formerly The Union, has conciously removed all traces of foreign influence. Gone are the continental café-style pavement tables.
It no longer serves French wine, Italian food or German lager. There are no Japanese televisions, no impressionist prints, no wi-fi. Instead the décor consists of a yellowing newspaper cutting about the Rochdale Hornets and a sign requesting that smokers use the ashtrays provided.
Mr Farage, having heard of the John Bull’s reputation, decided to pop in while in the area. Initially he was afforded a hero’s welcome, but his problems began almost immediately. Dismayed that his pint of John Smith’s was not on the house, he tried to pay, but was told
“You don’t get summat for nowt, chuck, and we don’t take decimal currency.” A friendly bigot emerged from the fug of tobacco smoke to buy his drink, but further trouble was brewing.
It appears that a rumour had started in the darkest corner of the pub that ‘Farage’ sounded foreign. This led to a heated argument about whether or not he could stay. Eventually, the landlord, Cameron Davis, called a vote to settle the issue. 52% voted for Farage to leave, so he was escorted from the premises with the words “go to t’Rat And Drainpipe, that’s where t’other migrants drink” ringing in his ears.
Mr Farage complained that the vote was too close, claiming he had ‘unfinished business’, but was told to get over it.
Cameron Davis subsequently resigned as landlord of the John Bull.
