Darth Vader took to Twitter today to distance himself from “that evil bastard” Steve Bannon, Trump’s Chief Strategist, after he compared himself to Vader, Thomas Cromwell, Dick Cheney and Satan.
“Coo Shh. The guy is out there, you’ve got to give him that. Coo Shh.” A breathless Darth told The Herald. “Coo Shh. I was seduced by the infinite power of The Dark Side of the Force, Bannon was seduced by an orange adult toddler in a wig. Coo Shh.”
Steve Bannon told The Daily Telegraph in an interview today that.
“Darkness is good. Dick Cheney. Darth Vader. Satan. That’s power. It only helps us when they (liberals and the media) get it wrong. When they’re blind to who we are and what we’re doing.”
Lord Vader was not pleased at the comparison;
“Coo Shh. Cheney for Force Sake? Coo Shh. He’s killed loads more people than me and I have a Death Star. Coo Shh.”
Darth went on to explain that while he has worked for despotic, empire building, power hungry, genocidal lunatics he’s really an old school Republican at heart, not a chest beating populist.
“Coo Shh. Look ultimately the state should trump federal control, government is not the solution to social domestic problems and the free market should control financial decisions. Coo Shh. Everything is just rhetoric. Coo Shh. I haven’t heard Bannon or Trump talk about any of that stuff.”
The Force is not strong with either of them.
