Satirists around the world face extinction due to rising stupidity levels and utter fucking idiocy.
“How am I supposed to write satire about this, there’s literally nowhere to go? I’ve got a mortgage and kids to feed, well, expensively educate, but you get my meaning.” Said me, just now.
“UKIP were funny when they were just BNP lite led by that PoundShop Nazi Pinnochio Farage who was whinging about Polish motorists blocking up the M25. But then people actually voted for Brexit.”
I continued;
“And don’t get me started on Trump! The more rape allegations the more popular he became. If Savile knew then what we know now he’d have been shagging quadriplegic toddlers in public. I can’t even write satirical headlines anymore, this morning China said ‘This is what happens when you have a democracy’. For fuck’s sake.”
Within the last 24 hours The Onion, NewsThump and The Poke have all closed down with several satirists comitting Hari Kari with blunt pencils.
When asked to produce another series of Black Mirror, a despondent Charlie Brooker said;
“Just look out of your window, it’s easier and cheaper.” Before necking a bottle of Grey Goose.
More to follow, if I ever wake up from this dystopian nightmare.
