In a bold move the UK judiciary has ruled to suspend Parliamentary Sovereignty to allow the UK Government to use the Royal Prerogative to round up and chop the heads off the editors of The Daily Mail, The Daily Express and The Sun.
“Well if Paul Dacre, Hugh Whittow and Tony Gallagher want to find out what it was like to be a journalist in 1640 who are we to stop them.” Said the openly ex-Olympic fencer and High Court judge Sir Terence Etherton. “Mind you Dacre works for that c*nt Lord Rothermere, the 1600’s will feel pretty modern to him.”
The decision was made after the heads of three of the UK’s largest fascist newspapers called for an end to constitutional monarchy following the High Court ruling that Article 50 couldn’t be triggered using the Royal Prerogative.
“Didn’t Cromwell cut off Charles the First’s head to get rid of the Royal Prerogative.” Asked the 12 year old daughter of our editor Quentin Fortesqueue. “I thought everybody knew that. That’s why we had a civil war in the 1640’s.”
The plan is to use the Royal Prerogative to seize Lord Rothermere’s UK holdings in lieu of all the tax he hasn’t paid and then execute all of the employees of the Mail, Express and Sun for treason.
“There is precedent.” Sir Terence told us. “Cromwell executed Charles for not wanting Parliament to be sovereign. It’s rather deliciously ironic is it not? Maybe we’ll rack Dacre, drown Whittow in port and burn Gallagher at the stake for that extra ‘absolute power’ experience.”
