Following the loss of ‘The Great British Bake Off’ to a rival commercial channel, the BBC have been struggling to come up with another block-busting reality TV show.
Now they think they might have hit on another huge potential success: ‘The Great British Jerk Off’.
The resurgence of fundamentalist and right-wing political parties is a
“…veritable gold mine of reality TV material…” says Mike Hunt, senior
producer at Double U Anchor productions. He goes on to say that because of the huge amount of closet racists, homophobes, misogynists and
xenophobes in the population, the show is potentially guaranteed a huge audience.
“Racists are jerk,” says Mr Hunt, adding that organisations such as the BNP and Britain First “…are full of wankers. Thus the title really says it all.”
He envisages weekly shows in which racist organisations and extremists
of all religions compete to see who can be the most offensive towards minority groups – the winners will be crowned ‘Jerk Of the Year’ in the final episode. The winners will be awarded “…an all expense-paid course of electric shock treatment, coupled with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy in the (perhaps vain) hope that these frightful arseholes can become more human.”
Entry will be open to all fundamentalists and there will be special sections for football fans (Racist Chant of the Week), ‘Thug Off’ (mindless violence and graffiti) and an award for the ‘biggest lie told about immigrants in the locality’.
Bigots and xenophobes will be given
a chance to bait Jews, blacks, Muslims, gays and women, with a prize going to the ‘Master Baiter’ of the week. Judges will be selected from contributors to the internet sensation group “Spell Check A Racist” and Hunt thinks that comics and celebrities will be queuing up to host the show.
A spokesman for the BBC said the proposed format was “…one of the worst ideas he’d ever seen…” and went on to say that the show represented “…a cheap, degrading and exploitative version of the reality TV format that plumbs new depths of horror…” and has
commissioned the series for the next three years.
