The producers of the James Bond movie franchise are said to be absolutely over the moon about Vladimir Putin’s recent decision to reboot the Cold War.
The spy movie genre took a hit in 1989 when Gorbachev fucked up the Cold War by investing literally every red cent into Oil & Gas infrastructure only to see Reagan and Thatcher persuade the Saudis to tank oil prices and bankcrupt the USSR. As a result he gave us Pearce fucking Brosnan and a string of godawful parody shoot-em-ups with no baddies. The Russians got queues and energy shortages.
A spokesman for the Broccoli family said;
“Putin murdering journalists, recalling diplomats, moving troops and intercontinental ballistic missile launchers to the peripheralry of Western Europe is brilliant news. We might get to remake From Russia With Love! Does Putin have a cat?”
The last few years have been a bit thin for dastardly plot lines and have mostly consisted of remaking Home Alone with Judy Dench, hacking emails and pinching water.
“Nothing says Bond like an apocalyptic subtext, a crackpot Dictator with his finger on the button, good looking Russian birds and a bit of misogyny. With Trump in the running we haven’t decided who the baddies are going to be yet!”
The next Bond Film “You only Live Thrice” is expected in cinemas 2017.
