In the face of the least popular Tory Government since the Peterloo Massacre, Labour has decided not to bother being an opposition of any sort by failing to find its collective arse with both hands.
Members of the NEC were unable to agree how to appoint it Shadow Cabinet after eight hours of both sides blatantly trying to fuck the other over.
The committee had considered plans – backed by deputy Leader Tom Watson – to fuck Jeremy Corbyn in the ass by reinstating elections to the shadow cabinet. Since 2011, the party leader has selected his own top team.
Mr Watson said the proposal could help Labour “put the band back together” for a possible early election when what he actually meant was “it would stick a rusty knife between the ribs of Great Leader Corbyn.”
A proposal to decide on the details of the plan ahead of Saturday’s leadership election result was voted down, by 16 votes to 15.
Mr Corbyn was among those to vote against it, but did agree to further talks with Mr Watson before the next NEC meeting this weekend, at the party’s conference in Liverpool – by which he meant “if Watson wants to try it again in a room full of 2000 scouse, communist Momentum members then he can be my fucking guest.”
Mr Watson said afterwards that it was a “very positive meeting” which is old Trade Union speak for “that was a monumental waste of fucking time but I can keep this up for months.”
He added: “We agreed 22 changes to our rules and guidance, all sorts of positive things I’m sure the media will be really interested in.” It may come as something of a disappointment to the old fool, but not even the Socialist Worker gives a shit about the Rules & Conditions for the Election of Local Organising Committee Bathroom Monitors.
Supporters of Mr Corbyn say any plan should call for party members and activists to also have a say in any elections. Well of course they fucking would – how else can a bunch of tin-pot Marxists take control of Labour’s bank balance and Parliamentary funding?
Meanwhile as a side-effect the even less effective Liberal Democrats took this as a sign that they were now the only remaining opposition – conveniently ignoring the fact that the SNP have more MPs than the Lib Dems have members.
Whilst ordinarily this would be of little interest, but the prospect of Labour & the Lib Dems having a cock-off is too much to pass up, like the sight of two fat kids fighting. Pundits are expecting another 12 years of Tory government…..
