A British tourist was detained by police in Frankfurt today after being arrested at Frankfurt train station.
The tourist is understood to have been queueing at passport control for so long he was able to dig three separate tunnels out of the terminal. He’s thought to have used a spade fashioned from a toddler’s empty carry-on suitcase and hidden rubble and debris in secret compartments in his trousers.
The tunnels are believed to be complex highly engineered affairs including ventilation systems and a miniature railway in each.
Having surfaced in the car park the man is believed to have stolen a motorbike and used a gate gourmet container as a ramp to attempt to jump the perimeter fence of the airport.
He then spent 45 minutes walking around Frankfurt looking for local resistance units to help him get to the Swiss border.
Having failed to do this he was forced to try to catch a train to Switzerland but was captured as he boarded it. He was travelling incognito wearing a false moustache, a brown trench coat and a matching fedora hat.
While all of his “papieren” were “in ordnung” he was apparently arrested after a suspicious policeman wished him “good luck” in English and he said “thank you” rather than danke schon. He was arrested immediately and taken to a local police station for interrogation.
The British Embassy has despatched representatives to offer consular assistance but concerns are growing for him after hearing reports that he asked an officer to take him to a field and shoot him rather than take him back to the queue at passport control.
His whereabouts are currently unknown.
