The Daily Mail today have exclusively revealed that African poverty is rubbish and was invented by Oxfam as a way of making a quick buck.

Mail journalist Sandra Hare, said “each year Oxfam raise loads of money for Africa but it’s really just rubbish as all they do is take the money and get epically mashed in Ibiza with it.”

Mary Street, spokesperson for Oxfam said” It’s true. Basically African tribes made shed loads from the slave trade and in reality everyone in Africa lives in luxury. I just wouldn’t be able to fund my lifestyle any other way.”

Bono has been quick to move to dismiss the claims saying “I can’t believe they’ve published this nonsense on a Bloody Sunday. The Daily Mail cynically claiming that people would use a terrible human tragedy to make a load of money for themselves is just awful.”

Bob Geldoff was unavailable for comment though a spokesoff told us to “try him to reach him on Tuesday. He doesn’t like Mondays.”

Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.