Ryanair CEO Michael O-Leary is in the crosshairs again today amidst allegations that he hit an asian doctor around the back of the head with a blackjack and forcibly dragged him aboard a Ryanair flight from Rochdale International Airport to Minsk near Prague.

Dramatic footage of the bloodied and beaten passenger being dragged aboard the aircraft by Michael O’Leary have been viewed millions of times on social media today and have been considered a huge PR success by the airline.

“What can I say? The flight was underbooked. Michael took steps to ensure our shareholders got a return.” A spokesman for Michael O-Leary didn’t tell the Herald, as we just make stuff up.

“We gave him the seat for free but we did give him priority boarding which was €5 and strictly speaking he was luggage when he was dragged him aboard, much more than 20kg. So we charged him €160 and €15 for insurance, €70 for airport taxes and we spelled his name wrong on the manifest so that’s another €145 AND we had to print a boarding pass for him which is another €110.”

“He got a real deal for a free one way trip to Minsk, I mean Prague, I keep saying that. It’s only 1,216km from Prague. He’ll have a lovely time if he wakes up.”

O’Leary is thought to have got the idea for press ganging unsuspecting members of the public aboard underbooked flights after United Airlines beat a surgeon unconscious to give his seat to a trolley dolly who needed to get home for the weekend.

“United have the whole thing arse backwards.” O’Leary didn’t tell us. “You should be mugging punters to get them on board not mugging them to get them off.”

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.