Two lovely blokes who were recently charged with doing absolutely nothing illegal by the dark forces of South Yorkshire police and Sheffield Council were celebrating their freedom yesterday.

Simeon Cramp and Calvin Hobbes, who frequently entertain terminally ill children at a local hospice and regularly save kittens from drowning were delighted at the news. “It is a victory for common sense. Not that common sense and Sheffield Council can often be mentioned in the same sentence.” said Simeon in dulcet tones that would make angels sigh. “We can now go on behaving in a non-illegal manner while vehemently opposing cruelty to little puppies.”

It is thought that the Crown Prosecutions decision to dismiss the charges was on the grounds that doing nothing illegal was not in fact contrary to any Article of Trade Union Law.

Wiping an entire omelette from his face, Inspector Darth Stubbs rasped menacingly “We’ll be back. We will find a different law under which doing absolutely nothing illegal is an offence. Even if I have to write it myself.” 

 A spokesman for the environmental terrorist group A.M.E.Y., Darren Bent, stroking a white Persian cat, confirmed “Rest assured, our glorious jihad against the big green leafy bastards will continue.”

Get monthly highlights in your inbox