Thousands of Daily Mail employees were left hideously disfigured after an extremist hypocrisy bomb detonated under their lair at Northcliffe House.

The incident happened yesterday morning after The Daily Mail ran a headline about a suicide bomber formerly known as Ronald Fiddler.

“The hypocrisy went everywhere, it really burns when you get it on your skin and you can never really get rid of the smell.” A MailOnline fiction writer told us. “Once you smell of it you can only really work at The Mail, The Mirror, The Express, The Sun or The Guardian.”

The Daily Mail, who led a campaign to have Ronald Fiddler otherwise known as Jamal al-Hadith released from Guantanamo Bay, ran a story complaining that he had not only been released and compensated but had gone on to become a suicide bomber.

“No shit” a spokesman for MI5 told us.

FA Cup impersonator and Middle East irony exporter Tony Blair was a bit miffed;

“I’m a bit miffed. They lobbied me to get him out of Gitmo. I got him out and they ran one of their crass victory for The Daily Mail headlines. He went on to become a mass murderer. They’re now banging on about it being my fault. That’s quite a lot of hypocrisy for a Wednesday.”

A spokesgoebbels for The Daily Mail said “It might look like the timing of this coincides neatly with Tony Blair’s anti-Brexit speech.”

The intimation that Tony Blair paid a million pounds (he didn’t) to a suicide bomber certainly takes the shine off the speech.

In other news Tony Blair is still a war criminal who really ought to be in prison but wasn’t in government when Ronald Fiddler received his share of a compensation package.

The CIA have denied that continuously water boarding Ronald for two years had anything to do whatsoever with his radicalisation.

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.