Paul Nuttall has sought to lay to rest the controversy over his claims to have been present at the Hillsborough disaster, initially by explaining his press officer must have misheard his tales about his experiences in 1937 New Jersey.

“I was only a very small Scouser when my father took me along to Manchester Air Base in New Jersey. I should have known nothing good would come of going to a place called Manchester” joked Nuttall inappropriately. “It was terrible watching the disaster and 37 close personal strangers perishing in the flames. I have not been able to talk about it in the intervening 80 years.”

Asked why he had failed to correct this error earlier and has persistently referred to his presence at Hillsborough, Nuttall admitted the error was not that of his secretary after all but that he had made a ‘wholly understandable’ mistake. 

“After all, who can honestly say that at some point in their life they have not confused a football ground in Sheffield with an enormous hydrogen filled dirigible?”

Nuttall continues to be an idiot.

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