Idiots across America who voted for Trump because he told them he was really good at doing deals are surprised by the news he hasn’t been able to do a deal with a Bruce Springsteen tribute band.
“I’m surprised he hasn’t been able to do a deal with a Bruce Springsteen cover band.” Trump supporter Cleotus McBigmac told The Herald. “He done gone told us he was the greatest at doing deals and he hasn’t been able to book a musician for the inauguration.”

“It makes me a little nervous about his decision to scrap the Trans Pacific Partnership to be honest.”

A spokesbully for Trump who wished to remain anonymous told The Herald “it’s proven a bit tricky to book a band on our budget. It would seem that no musician in the world is prepared to put his or her name to Trump’s presidency for the promise of any amount of money they ask for.”

“It probably doesn’t help that Trump still owes those 11 year old girls The Freedom Girls $2,500. Or that they had all their merchandise stolen by Trump Supporters.”

We called Barack Obama for a quote but he was unable to provide us with one because he couldn’t stop laughing.

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.