The editor at the Daily Mail has allegedly defended his decision to only put two of the gold medalists from the four woman, world record breaking Team Pursuit team on the cover of the Daily Mail.

The front cover of The Daily Mail

 

“Well it’s obvious really isn’t it, most of our readers read the paper with their breakfast. We can’t put a bald woman, regardless of what a magnificent example of female athleticism and achievement she is, on the cover of The Daily Mail, people are eating.”

Joanna Rowsell Shand who has aloepecia, several world records, a gold medal and an MBE to her name was relegated by the Daily Mail to the back cover along with her pink haired compadré Katie Archibald.

The back cover of The Daily Mail

 

“Well erm, you know, it was, well, like err, you know, it was, well. Well Laura and Elinor are err…”, he is alleged to have mumbled.

Are what Daily Mail? More newsworthy? Have hair you approve of?

Fuck you Daily Mail. Fuck you.

Well done Joanna, Katie, Elinor and Laura you’ve made us all proud.

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.