The 9-year old tabby, Walter Croncat, is a well regarded psychopath and manipulative bastard well known locally for killing songbirds and loudly fighting other cats in the street at 3am.
Lord Rothermere, chairman of the Mail’s owner DMGT, confirmed the appointment, praising Mr Croncat as an “outstanding candidate”.
“We’re unclear on Walter Croncat’s position on Brexit but we do know that he’s a territorial bastard who bit the ear off a Persian who tried to get in his garden last week. If that doesn’t qualify him for the job I don’t know what does.”
The public have been equally pleased with Walter’s contribution to the Mail.
“Walter’s poo in Thursday’s edition of the paper was the most sensible thing that’s been in the Daily Mail for decades.” Mr Croncat’s owner told The Rochdale Herald.
“His contribution certainly shits all over their previous efforts at journalism.”
