Dick Braine elected leader of Dicks for Brains

Mr Braine was the favoured dickhead ahead of his predecessor, Gerard Batten, who resigned after Dicks for Brains’ poor performance in the European elections in May.

The chairman of the party’s West London branch, he beat Freddy Vachha, who won 20% of the vote, Ben Walker, on 14% and ex-deputy leader Mike Hookem, on 13%.

Speaking after his victory, Mr Braine said he wanted to establish Dicks for Brains as the “far-moderate voice of common sense” in Britain.

Unaware of what an oxymoron is the moron continued “We have got a great future and we are coming back. I am very excited and looking forward to “leadership” of this “party”, bringing these turds together and delivering better results,” he said.

The general public said “Who?”