Loose cannon David Davis describes the scattergun approach to Brexit as “regrettable”. The strident anti-EU campaigner wants the UK to cut the European cord, wean itself off Brussels’s teat and untie its apron strings.
Linguistically-challenged Davis dismisses attacks on his insouciant laissez-faire raison d’etre as schadenfreude. He says the EU is up a cul-de-sac without a paddle.
The self-appointed Gifted Amateur deplores the modern age of the professional, and seeks to turn back the clock to when professionalism was frowned upon. “Seriously, this is what Brexit is all about,” Davis claims. “Back to the golden age when brave Brits went out on a limb without a leg to stand on and won hands down.”
The Great Repeal Bill, currently being debated, will transfer EU law into UK law, apparently without irony. This is what Taking Back Control means. Failure of the Bill would mean that all EU law would have to be debated by the British parliament, in the true spirit of Brexit, but this is too “chaotic”, says Davis. “Just go with the flow for now, and we’ll fiddle things behind the scenes and claim that it was our idea all along,” Davis claims. “That’s the British way.”
Davis’ bull in a china shop behaviour has not endeared him to his EU counterpart, Michel Barnier. To stretch the metaphor beyond breaking point, Barnier is not so much the matador as the manager of the shopping centre intent on minimising damage to his property. If the unruly tenant refuses to play ball, then he will have to find somewhere else to sell his wares, and pay the bill for damage caused.
In a comedy show, the little guy never wins. In the Brexit show, the little guy won and doesn’t know what to do with his victory. Like a pauper winning a million pounds, or a six year old getting twenty-three Easter eggs, Davis is floundering in uncharted territory.
Plus ca change. So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen adieu.
