Ms Mia Faberge has alleged Jeremy Corbyn is yet to pay her for the PR stunt wherein she lent him her sister’s baby in a pram to carry up some stairs.
Faberge said she always thought Corbyn was a good egg and only more so since he pledged to work with Theresa May to totally trash the British economy by achieving the hardest Brexit possible in economic terms, but taking back control of the border with Scotland while we’re at it.
“I felt touched by the hand of greatness when the Momentum chap called at my door and asked what my plans for the day where.” Mia stated.
“Jeremy needs you, he said. Jeremy who? I asked. He said, this isn’t a knock knock joke, this is an integral part of building a movement to take everyone up a set of stairs so we can work out what to do once we’re up there. So I said okay, sure, how much?”
But now she is having misgivings after the promised brown paper bag was not found in the pram’s storage area.
The Rochdale Herald’s Mothercare correspondent spoke to Mia to bust this cynical attempt to rebrand Corbyn as a kindly old man who cares about people wide open.
“Fifty quid they said.” Mia declared. “All I had to do was duck round me sisters and blag her kid off her for thirty minutes and meet Corbyn and some fanboy of his with a smartphone at a set of stairs. Seemed easy enough work. Makes a change from watching Jeremy Kyle.”
Ms Mia went on to state she hadn’t been forewarned exactly what the devious communists planned to do with her and the child, but had assumed they were to model for a hyper realist bronze or something similar.
“He’s lucky he didn’t pull something with all that huffing and puffing.” Faberge added. “I guess he keeps fit digging up turnips or whatever on that allotment he owns.”
Ms Mia added that she doesn’t want to make a fuss over the money but if she doesn’t get it she’ll definitely be thinking long and hard before she carries through with faking her own drowning off Brighton Pier next weekend so John McDonnell can dive in and save her.
