Researchers at Rochdale College have found evidence that seems to show most Brexiteers cheat during family games of Monopoly.
Dr Frederick Seddon told us, “We took a wide range of volunteer families from different classes, age ranges and ethnic make ups. We observed them playing Monopoly over several weeks.
The first thing we noted was that nearly all family members who voted for Brexit would passively aggressively offer to be the banker. We saw that this was so many of them would pilfer the banks money to subsidise the building of hotels or payment of taxes.
Another favoured tactic was to spend a lot of time arguing about the interpretation of many of the rules. This was mostly to create a diversion or to simply make the game such a miserable experience that most players left before the game was over.
Younger members of families were particularly vulnerable to Brexiteers chicanery. A common strategy was to mis-count the number of moves in a particular go to gain an advantage. Deliberately confusing younger family members during trade negotiations or feigning medical problems were all employed to gain advantages.
More extreme methods we found were, one man offering to make the family drinks. Once he’d gone into the kitchen he slipped water tablets into the drinks. This meant everyone went to the toilet leaving the game unattended. The man would use the time to cheat.
Another Brexiteer made a mock up news report of a terrorist incident in his local area. As he was losing he put the TV on with this fake report. Whilst all his relatives were distracted watching the incident he swapped a bunch of low rent properties for high rent properties and won the game.”
Monopoly wasn’t the only game that Brexiteers have problems with. Scrabble has become nearly impossible for families with Brexiteers in to play. Many Brexiteers are emboldened to refuse to allow words that are derived from other European languages.
Dr Seddon said, “One refused to allow oblique due to its Spanish connotations. Another refused the word, Beef as it is derived from the French, Boeuf citing that, it comes from a time of enslavement of noble Angles by the Norman conquer. One even refused to accept iron due to its connotations with Prussia.”
