The results are in and Theresa May is to remain Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, sort of, probably for a bit at least and maybe for longer than that. Perhaps. Or maybe not.
“For Christ’s sake, what do I have to do lose the vote? I’ve been dreadful throughout the hustings, u-turned a dozen times. Talked about nicking school lunches, selling off every stick of furniture the NHS own and even taking the homes from the dead.
Surely when I started talking about killing foxes with dogs and the fucking ivory trade. Honestly have none of you lazy bastards read the Naylor Report? It says two for one offers to private investors buying up hospitals.
But no matter what I do, you sadists keep voting us in.” The Prime Minister said the morning.
She followed “Brexit, bloody Brexit. I never wanted it, Lord knows I’ve tried scaring you all into voting for that beardy, creepy chap Corbyn, so he could deal with it. Well, you’re all going to get what you deserve. I blame you all, its all your fault. You can all fuck off!”
The Prime Minister then flicked the double-handed V’s at the media representatives outside of Number 10, before storming insiide and slamming the door.
