A spokesfox for the Confederation of Midland Foxes, who asked to be identified only as Foxy McFoxface said
“She might be stark raving bonkers, but at least you know where you stand with Theresa May. I can’t bring myself to vote for Corbyn, I deeply distrust anyone who doesn’t eat chickens. I bet he loves the bloody Badgers too. We should send them all back.”
But surely being hunted for sport by posh wallies on horses is often unpleasantly fatal we asked Mr McFoxface.
“Of course, but that’s like saying turkeys shouldn’t vote for Christmas or that working class voters shouldn’t vote for the conservatives. That’s just mental talk. I mean Christmas is good for the economy, and by economy I mean the shareholders of large corporations and Philip Green. Being eaten alive is no reason to vote against something. I’m voting for the Conservatives.”
“My dad was a hunted Fox. If it was good enough for him, it’s good enough for me” he added.
Toffs are expected to return to the countyside en masse, displacing both the middle classes who came to ogle a king’s tomb and the peasants who realised that football goes on outside London and Manchester.
“May has promised to deliver Foxit. The good times are returning. We might get ripped to pieces by a pack of slobbering hounds but at least we will get our county back.”
“You can say what you like about Theresa May but at least she isn’t a vegetarian like Corbyn.”
