The Rochdale Herald can reveal this afternoon that Theresa May is alleged to have written to British Prime Minister Rupert Murdoch seeking permission to sack Boris Johnson.
Although the address of the prime minister is on paper 10 Downing Street, in actuality it is a tall and dark tower in New York wherein the billionaire media mogul directs affairs in his kingdom of little England, by way of functionalities such as Ms May.
We spoke to an insider claiming to be calling from the inside of Downing Street to learn what prompted the shock move.
“Don’t write that it’s a shock,” Private Secretary Oeorge Gosborne requested, “and I’m definitely one of the private secretaries to the PM.”
Oeorge went on to explain that working with Mr Johnson has lately become unbearable for Ms May, largely due to his habit of practical jokes in the workplace.
“It’s not because he insulted the mass dead of Libya. It’s because he arranged for letters to fall from the conference sign behind Theresa. You can insult the dead from a former colony, but you make Ms May look silly in front of a collection of OAP’s then you’ve really gone too far.”
Apparently Mr Johnson has a habit of mooing whenever Ms May enters the room.
“He also puts a whoopie cushion on her chair whenever she’s not looking. Gove’s idea that.”
Asked why she doesn’t just sack Mr Johnson, given she is technically above him in the chain of command, Oeorge said the following,
“She fires him then she makes another media genius like that George Osborne. You know, the dashing chap who proved himself a wizard of economics while chancellor. He’s doing outstanding work at the Evening Standard,
“So, she needs Rupert’s permission or Boris may well refuse to step down. After all, who is really running this show?”
