Good news on the prospects with Brexit this afternoon as news broke that the entire world is lining up to provide easy sex for Britons by bending us over the negotiating table and taking us roughly from behind.
The happy revelation was triggered by the vibe emanating from the White House.
Apparently Donald Trump wants to be the first in line to deepen the special relationship existing between the UK and US.
The Rochdale Herald’s “Farage and His Ilk Don’t Lie Much” correspondent went to the Department for International Trade to find out more about this late breaking story.
“Donald is going to bang us first by way of using the WTO as a lubricant for a solid rodgering of the UK over tariffs relating to stuff people eat,” Mr Muggins revealed, “of course the EU may beat him to first go. They’ve already booked a room and a candlelit dinner and David Davis is choosing his aftershave.”
Along with the EU and the US, it’s rumoured China, India and many others expect to have a special relationship with the UK based on whichever of their favourite trade positions they light on in the Kama Sutra WTO edition.
“Liam Fox will see us right though,” Mr Muggins added, “he is going to indirectly screw much of the Middle East by selling endless amounts of weapons and high explosives into conflict zones.”
Apparently the government is also fixing to screw the workers of the UK with a chastity belt of ever lower corporate taxes and stripped away regulations whilst simultaneously buggering the NHS.
