In a leaked Downing Street memo, it is believed that Prime Minister Theresa May is to reach out to sections of society who feel they have become alienated by her government.
It is reported that the normally conservative (with a small c) Mrs May will soon be sporting a set of natty dreadlocks in an attempt to ‘reach out’ to Ethnic minority votes that the Conservative party failed to appeal to in the last election.
A new report by the think tank ‘British Future’ has revealed that Mrs May would have picked up a further 28 seats if she could have appealed to the minority voters in the same way she did to white voters of the U.K. This would of given the Tories a comfortable majority in the House of Commons and avoided the necessity for the embarrassing alliance with the Democratic Unionist Party.
The leaked memo, seen exclusively by The Rochdale Herald, alludes that Mrs May will swap her somewhat outdated hairstyle for dreadlocks and the new party theme music will be “54-56 was my number” by Jamaican ska legends Toots and the Maytals. Furthermore it has been suggested that perhaps they will immediately legalize cannabis and put a sweet sound system in the PMs limo.
The move has been embraced by leadership hopeful Jacob Rees-Moggy-Mogg. His office told us “There’s a change comin’ and we is part of the massive. Nart I mean, fam?”
The Rochdale Herald contacted the Downing Street press office for further comment but were told “No comment and ting, bruv. Innit.”
