Tony Robinson is expected to take to Twitter this evening to announce an upcoming ‘Time Team’ special feature in which he and the gang will dig up great swathes of the countryside searching for past evidence of honesty in British politics.
It’s believed the search will probably only turn up a peanut shell, circa 2010 (it will be carbon dated to be sure), potentially a Viking coprolite (the golden goose of archaeology in Britain), but maybe, just maybe a statement carved into a slab of stone from long ago that is honest.
The Rochdale Herald’s Cunning Plan correspondent spoke to a man who drank with Tony Robinson last night at the Fervid Goose (Tony’s local) to hear more about the exciting one off programme.
“They’re well pleased that C4 has commissioned the programme.” Ferfal McTurnkey stated. “It was the guy who never cuts his nails, it was his idea originally. The chap from the west country. Phil! Phil Tufnell! It was his idea and Tony could tell instantly it was a runner.”
Special permission is being sought to dig in the grounds of the House of Commons, potentially to even lift the flagstones within the lower house and see if there are any honest words trapped underneath.
“If they can show that once, just once, a politician in the United Kingdom said something verifiable maybe it will help guide the current crop of strung up media baron puppets where they are going wrong?”
As with any episode of Time Team, anything could turn up and probably will.
“Even if they just find the world ‘truth’ inscribed on a bit of pottery that’ll be enough to have some computer graphics guy model up a whole new society that no one knew ever existed.”
As to how far they’ll be allowed to dig?
“As deep as it takes. They’ll probably pop out in Australia, they’ll need to go down so far. And given the state of the politics down there too, they’ll have to turn right back around and come back again.”
