Oxford University Press have confirmed that the word ‘patriot’ will no longer feature in future editions of the Oxford English Dictionary.
The words ‘patriotic’ and ‘patriotism’ will also be removed, due to concerns that they have become synonymous with racial hatred and xenophobic buffoonery.
The decision to remove the word is believed to be the result of campaigning by a range of left-wing groups, including Antifa, Hope Not Hate, Momentum, and the Tufty Club. Opponents of the move have called it another example of “political correctness gone mad” and have been furiously sharing memes implying that the decision was orchestrated by evil liberal philanthropist, George Soros.
An OUP spokesperson denied that the exclusion was politically-motivated and told the Herald that the word had simply become too difficult to define.
“A patriot is traditionally defined as a person who loves his or her country, supports its rights and freedoms, and is willing to defend it against its enemies,” said lexicographer, Etta Moeller-Gist.
“More recently, that definition has become misinterpreted and corrupted by the sort of people who confuse ‘love of country’ with ‘hatred of anyone brown’.
“In the UK, for example, self-described ‘patriots’ are usually fat, pug-ugly racists, who think that defending their country involves shouting abuse at Muslims in the street or sending rape threats to Brexit opponents on Twitter. They’re the sort of idiots who want people to ‘rise up’ and ‘take their country back’, but only get off their own lazy arses if Wetherspoons are doing a 2-for-1 offer on pints of Carling.
“In the US, on the other hand, ‘patriots’ tend to be loud-mouthed morons who bang on about defending the Constitution and ‘freedom of speech’, whilst idol-worshipping an orangutan who has spent the first seven months of his Presidency trying to suppress dissenting voices, whilst shitting on the Constitution and actively encouraging discrimination.
“We already have words for those kinds of people, though most of them are only four letters long and none of them should be uttered in front of small children.”
The news provoked an angry backlash from online commentators, many of whom took a break from abusing minorities to mash their keyboards in righteous indignation.
“LEEV ARE ENGLISH LANGWAGE ALONE! DIS IS A DISC RACE!!!” wrote Twitter user and Britain First follower, ‘goldding4PM’.
Commentators on the MailOnline ‘news’ website were equally outraged, with one writing, “IM A BRITTISH PATREOT AND ALLWAYS WILL BE ITS CALLED ENGLISH BECOZ ITS FOR THE ENGLISH IF U DON’T LYK IT THEN DON’T READ THE DICSHUNARY!”
Anti-racism campaigners have welcomed the decision, though some had suggested just replacing the definition with a picture of a fat, mange-ridden bulldog, draped in a St. George’s Cross flag, trying to lick the space where its tiny balls used to be.