Brexiters across the land were furious today with the news that proposed changes to immigration rules after Brexit make it highly likely Saint George will be denied an entry visa to England.
Under the likely changes to the rules anyone wishing to travel to the United Kingdom will have to prove they have British ancestry in order to be allowed entry at any point. They will also have to demonstrate a strong command of the English language.
The Rochdale Herald spoke to a representative of Saint George for his reaction to the news.
“He’s well furious.” Joan Ark, page girl commented.
“The thought of all the paperwork to be filled out and the potential high cost of the visa are total disincentives. He doesn’t even speak or write english as it is. How is he supposed to learn english in time? So language classes mean even more money. I reckon he’ll probably go to Georgia instead now to work.”
We also spoke to the Home Office for their reaction and received the following information.
“Essentially post Brexit our immigration policy is going to be anyone except rich foreigners who need to warehouse mountains of cash illegally appropriated from their home countries in London property can get stuffed. Although we will make an exception for very low skilled, low paid workers to pick crops until robots take over those tasks. Saint George sounds over qualified and too poor. He’s welcome to pay the fee and apply for a visa of course. The fee is non-refundable.”
Not everyone was upset over the likely inability of the Syrian-Turkish-Palestinian son of a Roman legionnaire failing to enter Britain though.
Welsh nationalist Brexiters can see a distinct upside.
“See, that’s why we voted out of the corrupt, tyrannical, fascist, money grubbing superstate that is the EU. Turkey is joining the EU soon and that means Saint George could just walk right into Britain and kill our flag’s dragon. Well not anymore. Brexit means we can control are borders at last.”
It’s now likely the next appearance of Saint George will be after he’s smuggled into England by a gang boss and set to work picking strawberries for a below subsistence wage.
