Everyone in Britain awoke this morning overjoyed to know they are one more day closer to losing their freedom of movement across Europe and getting are country back.
The ability to move freely across twenty eight countries, with the threat of that freedom growing greater in time, has long been a cross tens of millions of Britons have carried through their lives.
Dr Toad Kaunt, freedom spokesmen for Leave.21st Century, spoke to the Rochdale Herald about this gross human rights violation.
“Some people were born after Britain was conquered by the savage empire across the channel. Some don’t remember the days before the screw was turned on immigration queues.
Some don’t even know the thrill of filling out visa forms and paying fees just to go to France for a weekend.
Well, once we leave the twenty first century and retreat to the wonderland of divisions drawn up on nationality once again, all will understand we had to do this. It’s got absolutely nothing about using petty minded nationalism to turn the whole show into a big bloody tax haven for men like Rupert Murdoch.”
And the advantages won’t stop with being able to properly identify a Frenchman again.
Everyone will also be able to know what a foreign hospital, university and science institution is, alongside many other things, because everything at home and abroad will cost more and so be worth more.
“Once we’ve been successful in making sure Britons really know they are different to other people we can start with properly reminding Scots they’re not English. Some have been forgetting this, they’ve been voting conservative again.”
The ultimate aim is to need a visa to cross the border into Scotland.
“One step at a time.” Dr Kaunt cautions. “We need to keep our distaste for others properly focused on those devious europeans first. Once we’ve cut ourselves off from the EU we can properly focus on hating each other again.”
