The White House Press Office has issued a fresh set of denials denying denials of denials denying denials.
“We knew about Mr Trump’s links to Russia over a year ago,” says a press release from the White House Press Office. “We have never attempted to deny it. Russia and the USA have always been great friends.”
Donald Trump Jr’s revelations of the connection have rendered denial redundant. “I love it!” claims the Trumplet.
“For clarity,” the press release continues, “the White House would like to refute the suggestion that it has ever denied any of the following:
“That Donald Trump has ever had contact with Vladimir Putin.
“That Donald Trump Jr has been involved in negotiations.
“That Donald Trump Jr is Donald Trump’s son.
“That the FBI’s codename for Trump Jr is ‘silent but deadly’.
“That ‘I love it’ has anything to do with McDonald’s.
“That Donald Trump has anything to do with McDonald’s.
“That the White House is white, and is a house.
“That the Pentagon has five sides.
“That the word ‘bigly’ is an abuse of the English language.
“That ‘covfefe’ is, bigly, a thing.
“That Buzz Aldrin claims that not hitting Trump is his greatest achievement.
“That words like jam, pavement and tap should be used instead of jelly, sidewalk and faucet.
“That ‘naturally’ should be spelt with a double ‘l’.
“That Brexit means Brexit.
“That Game of Thrones is nothing more that Tolkien with tits.
“That the moon landings were faked.
“That they know who shot JR.
“That fat Americans driving gas guzzlers are a principal driver of climate change.
“That Donald Trump’s hairdo is more of a hairdon’t.
“That Donald Trump ever said pole dancers are the best.
“That Donald Trump spends 22% of his time on the golf course.
“That ursine mammals defecate in areas infested by trees.”
The White House Press Office is clearly in denial.
