Labour only six racial slurs from power spin doctors tell agitators

Following the suspension of the MP for Devon Anne Marie Morris from the Conservative Party for her “n@£$er in the woodpile” gaffe at London’s East India Club yesterday, Labour Party spin doctors have been compiling a list of surefire racial slurs they hope to provoke Tory MPs to repeat and bring down the Tory government. 

Seumas Milne, Jeremy Corbyn’s philandering but otherwise trustworthy communications chief, said the party was only six racial slurs away from power.

“Get six more of the silly buggers suspendered….I mean suspended,” said Milne, who was photographed yesterday on the balcony of an East London hotel trading spit with a woman who was not his wife.

“I can’t believe how stupid those Tories can be,” Milne wrote in a secret memo circulating amongst Labour MPs, Activists and left wing agitators. “This really was an unforced error. If we can get six more of them to do a Boris and call someone a picaninny we’re in like Flynn. Do any of them have an uncle called Tom?”

His memo reportedly signed off with ‘of course I’m going to leave her darling.’

Many activists were apparently puzzled by parts of memo, but kept  busy inspecting their secret recording devices.

Some black MPs and activists were reportedly upset by the lack of slurs against white people in the memo.

“Where’s the “crackers, hillbillies and honkeys in this list,” said one prominent, but still unwell black female Labour MP.

“Just get them to say something stupid Diane, you know how easy it is,” Jeremy Corbyn reportedly said.