Leave the EU scientists found themselves stumped this afternoon when faced with a spoon.
They had previously been asked to identify a knife and a fork, to work out what to do with them, but the research had to be called to a halt out of health and safety concerns.
As it is several Leave scientists still require emergency treatment at A&E’s for eye injuries after they attempted to continue the knife and fork project alone.
Due to the massive financial backing invested in the “Cutlery identification and use project” by certain offshore, tax haven loving billionaires, and the United Kingdom as a whole, the study will be continued, even with the evidence already accumulated suggesting it is very risky.
“We’ve got as far as working out a fork is long and skinny and potentially sharp.” Dr Commings, lead research fellow revealed.
“And we are certain the ones that end in different pointy bits are knives. But the actual use? Baffling. I can see why no one has cracked it before now. I’m becoming increasingly scared of the research to be honest.”
Even so, critics suggest the switch to a spoon centred study, while potentially safer, will lose more than it gains, in spite of mountains of money continuing to be spent.
“We now think the spoons maybe some sort of idol we should be worshipping with stubborn faith?” Dr Commings continued.
“No one in the study has been able to work out which human orifice you put a spoon up, so they can’t be for eating.”
Bums are ruled out as all Leave scientists already have their head stuck inside one.
“Although no one will be left alone with any spoon. Using one alone will almost certainly result in an eye injury, of that much I’m certain.”
Leave scientists will continue their research under close supervision and eye patches are to be provided as soon as Union Jack patterned ones can be located.
