Owen Smith is not a man who flinches from an unnecessary challenge out of a risk of public humiliation.
In fact, so ready is he to debase himself in public he’s likely to challenge Jeremy Corbyn for the Labour Party leadership again.
In articles widely shared over the weekend Mr Smith let it be known he would just have canned the recent general election like a junky with a bag of smack, had he been Labour leader.
“I would have cooked up and smashed that vote buddy.” Mr Smith said, while walking nude into a Tesco Metro.
“Got my Cricket lighter out and my favourite spoon and there’d be no stopping me. The electorate of the United Kingdom would have been into me like a needle in a vein.”
We followed Mr Smith as he searched the aisles with a hastily scribbled shopping list in his hands. First on the list was a new pair of boxer shorts.
“Excuse me sir!” Mr Smith hailed a troubled looking cashier.
“Do you sell underwear in here?”
“Only nappies sir. I do not think we have any in your size. Are they for you?” The cashier replied.
“Wait. You’re Owen Smith!”
“Indeed I am brother.”
“You can wear my boxer shorts if you like? They’re knock off Calvins but they’ll do in a pinch.”
“I get this everywhere I go.” Mr Smith stated. “Imagine the crowds at my rallies had I been leader for the general election?”
The pair did what was necessary.
“Now. I need a new note pad and a scratchy card. I’m feeling very lucky today.”
“We only have pocketbook sized notepads Mr Smith.” The cashier said. “They’re very small though.”
What is the note pad for? We wanted to know.
“To write out the list of MPs supporting my next leadership bid of course!”
