Hard on the heels of the revelation that President Donald Trump has fake Time Magazine covers hanging on the walls of his golf course clubhouses, The Rochdale Herald can reveal exclusively that his Playboy centrefold is also a fake.
Copies of the reveal-all centrefold photos are known to be scattered around Trump’s properties worldwide.
“These pictures have definitely been photoshopped,” said Pharley Unreel of the Rochdale Institute of Photography.
“Look at those hands, they are the hands of a working man; a coal minor (as Trump famously tweeted) or a steal worker (as Trump would probably tweet) not some diletante property developer and reality Tv star”, said Unreel.
The fake Time magazine covers were produced when Trump was the host of the American version of “The Apprentice.”
“And the real zinger is the pecker,” said Mr.Unreel.
“Only a horse or Theresa May’s parliament could be as well-hung as that, and it’s black for God’s sake,”
A spokesman for Playboy Magazine also confirmed the centrefolds were fake.
“We loved taking pictures of Melania, but we would be sick at the thought of publishing pictures of that fat, orange beast.” said the Playboy Bunnyperson.
President Trump, who is thought to be highly sensitive of his little piglet hands and fingers which his wife Melania is famously reluctant to hold, also suggested in his successful presidential campaign that his manhood is a wonder to behold.
A spokesman for the President admitted that the Playboy edition had been “a mockup, a bit of fun” and was indeed a fake.
“Yes, we did man-up his hands a bit, but, hey look, when you have as much money as Donald Trump you can have any size or colour dick you want.”
Asked by the Rochdale Herald whether that meant President Trump was indeed a big dickhead, the spokesman said “you have to draw your own conclusions.”
