Nicola Sturgeon made a surprising admission late this afternoon, when she revealed she is yet to read her job description as Scottish First Minister.
“Don’t look at me sonny.” she began her spirited defence. “Do you think old baw bag Salmon read it either? Like fook he did, aye?”
She then went on to talk solely about holding a second Scottish referendum. Nothing much about schools or health or any of that boring stuff that Scottish people don’t really care all that much about.
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(See more from The Rochdale Herald on Scottish Independence)
*Nicola Sturgeon has called for IndyRef2 to be brought forward
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It seems there will also be a third referendum after the second, if required. This trend will continue until the people of Scotland accept that only the SNP know the right path for the country.
“There’s no problem with wanting out of the UK and back into the EU. Being part of a larger union makes our country stronger.”
It seems there are also future plans to hold referendums on dividing Scotland back up into individual clan territories, like in the good old days, when everything was better.
Such as when a noble chieftain could be convinced to side with The Hated English in exchange for lands and titles south of the border.
“Do you think I’m going to be a Lord if I’m not offered a big piece of Devon? Not likely.
“We’ve got to look backwards to go forwards. Just like Theresa May is doing. She’s going to divide England into the Anglo-Saxon kingdoms by the time she’s done. It’s the way forward.”
When several people offered her an actual copy of her job description she politely accepted it before using it as a foot stool behind the podium, so as to make her look a wee bit taller.
“You know you want it. Independence. We’ll have lower corporate tax rates then. Just like Anglo-Saxon Brexit England.”
