The deliberately modest and ultra secretive celebrity, Goldie, yesterday potentially revealed the identity of serial graffiti artist and liberal metropolitan elite caricature, Banksy, in some interview for some crap.
The elusive one time Eastenders baddie, Goldie, accidentally let slip that Banksy is in fact called Rob when he allegedly told someone else no one knows, Scroobius Pip; “Banksy has been undermined. Anyone can cash in on his brand. Write Banksy on a cap and it’s worth a fortune. No offence to Banksy who’s real name is Rob. I love Rob by the way, I mean Banksy. Did I mention that Banksy is Rob? Are you sure ITV are here? Will this land me a job?”
Some people who’ve followed the career of Banksy, believe him to be Robert Del Naja, from the band Massive Attack. A theory which is seemingly corroborated by the fame hungry, gold toothed nobody.”
However, art expert and lecturer at Rochdale Community University, Mick Palette, believes that Banksy is not one man, but instead a whole movement. In a forthright manner he got straight to the point and told us;
“Banksy? Don’t make me laugh. Any prick with a printer, scissors and spray paint is a Banksy. It’s not art, it’s crap. Answer me this. How does a bloke open a friggin theme park without folk knowing who is?”
Banksy has still not come forward to confirm or deny his true identify, however, a print in his style appeared on a wall in Westminster this morning which featured stencils of three bears stood around a little girl in a medium sized bed with the words “Who da fuck is Goldie? #ChangingTheLocks.”
