The tens of millions of people who voted to stay in the European Union, and those that wished they had but couldn’t be assed on the day, are to celebrate the first anniversary of the EuRef by continuing to repeatedly bash their heads against a brick wall.
The celebration will last all day and will most likely continue for months as the endless waves of meaningless soundbites that Brexiters believe are actual future strategies continue to deluge the nations mass media.
The Herald spoke to Remain voter Mr Res Earch to see how the celebration was going for him,
“The same as every day since the 23rd June 2016 if I’m honest. I’m got bruises inside my brain now. I reckon if I just keep hitting this brick wall here called ‘Brexit’ with my forehead as hard as I can, sooner or later, the bricks will start to fall out.”
Mr Earch couldn’t spare anymore time as he had to slam his forehead into the hard wall again in the unrelenting hope that if he quoted actual facts it would make a difference.
The wall itself was not impressed.
“Pouncy little traitor. He thinks all that fancy research is going to get through the wall of Daily Mails and Express newspapers? Fat chance. I know my patriotism. It’s the only bloody thing I do know.”
The head bash wall celebration will carry on until such time as the bricks do fall away. But that is expected to be a while as the death rate isn’t speeding up amongst the Brexit demographics until all the EU trained medics have finally gone home.
